Friday, 6 July 2012

Radiation !


Hey Everyone,
Sorry to make you wait for an update it has been quite crazy. So let’s start with Tuesday. I drove with my mom and dad out to the cancer clinic in Vancouver to have my consult with Dr. Mackenzie. He was WONDERFUL and not anything close to what I expected him to be. He talked to us for about 45 minutes to an hour and started out with asking me if I had any question so he was able to cover all of them when he was explaining the day of radiation to me. He was quite humorous and made sure I understood EVERYTHING that was going to happen that day. I told him of my anxiety of getting the head frame screwed on and so he asked me if I would like to see it. I of course thought maybe he would show me a picture after the consult, but in Dr. Mackenzie he said alright and left to go get it. I was able to see it and hold it and he once again explained EVERYTHING about it to me. I felt a lot better and without a doubt felt so blessed to have him as my doctor. I understand that doctors are really busy and have to see a lot of patients but he really made me feel like he cared and wanted the best for me. He asked me if I had received any type of counseling and if I had plans for the future for school and stuff. I told him that I would be going to school in September for the Applied Business Technology course but that I would love to go back to school to upgrade if my memory came back and become an X-ray tech or an ultra sound tech, but I wasn’t counting on that to happen. He told me that I could do anything and that he would even call the counselors of my university so set me up extra help. I was amazed. My radiation wasn’t the only part he was concerned about for me. He truly wanted me to be successful and that was honestly the most amazing feeling.
After I meet with him, a nurse took me around the unit and showed me where I would go on the day of my treatment so that everything was familiar and not as scary for me. She introduced me to some nurses and walked me through each room to let me know what would happen. Once again, that was a blessing !
So after all that was finished, we got some lunch and then took some time at Ikea before my MRI. It was nice to just process all the information he gave us and I even bought new furniture for my room which was awesome! (thanks mom and dad ;) ) We headed back to the cancer clinic and I got ready for my MRI. I was worried since all the MRI’s that I had had in the past were at least 45 minutes long and I am really cluster phobic (sorry if that spelling is wrong). The technician attached a mirror to the thing that holds my head in place and even had headphones that she played the radio through. Once again, an answer to prayer. ( you may find myself repeating that a lot !!) Besides that, all together my MRI took 20 minutes!!!
Okay so the next day I had an ultra sound for my ovaries because they had thought a couple months ago that I had an ovarian cyst. It was pretty painful but I was happy to get it over and done with. I will tell you the conclusion of it later.
So RADIATION DAY! We left my house at around 530am, as most of you know, I am NOT a morning person, BUT it was another answer to prayer because I eventually slept the whole drive in, instead of being awake and stressing the whole way there. Once we got there we knew exactly where to go since the nurse had shown us so there was no stress or confusion. I checked in and about 5 minutes was brought to the nurses’ station to get my IV out in. So here goes one of my favorite parts of the day…NEEDLES!!! WAHOO!! So she got my IV ready and the two nurses that were there were soooo nice and very funny. The first nurse was not able to get my IV started so instead of poking around, she pulled it out and told me she wasn’t going to poke me anymore since she knew that I was scared. She the second nurse tried and got it. I didn’t ask for the freezing back this one time and it happened to be the time that was the hardest. Plus, I asked if they could put it in my right hand thinking it was a good idea since I have lost a bit of feeling in it. But I didn’t think of the fact that my arm shakes and so my mom had to hold my arm still while she did my IV. Finally it was in and you could tell she felt horrible for having to poke me and dig around. It was a rough start but I was glad it was over and that my nurses were so kind. Once again…can anyone guess what I am going to say? It was an answer to prayer!! (even though it did hurt a bit…okay more than a bit) hah.
From there, they gave me pain medication I my IV and got me ready to go to get my head frame on. I was so scared but I knew God was with me. My parents called me really brave, but I think we all know I didn’t do that by myself. So Dr. Lee arrived and prepared to put on the head frame. They didn’t have to shave ANY of my hair, which for those of you that know me was a huge deal to me haha. The next part I will never forget and was the worst part of my day. As Dr. Lee prepared me for the headframe, he had to inject freezing into my head. Of course it was not normal needles, it was the kind that you see in horror movies. The needle part of it was a good three inches and the syringe was huge with the finger holes since it barely fit in his hand. He cleaned each of the areas and then proceeded with the injections. I have never felt a pain like that (well since I don’t have memory of when I hemorrhaged. I did everything I could to not cry and internalize my pain. I asked God for strength continually, and without Him I think, actually I KNOW that I wouldn’t have been able to make it through those moments. Once he put the needles in which was awful since I could hear it going through my scalp, he injected the freezing which was the most painful part. He had to move the needle around in my head to make sure he got the whole area. He had to do this for times. It made me think of what Jesus endured on the cross. These were just four needles in my head, it hurt for ten minutes, he suffered until His death! Just was a moment that I will never forget.
After the freezing was in, they fitted me for the head frame. They screwed in each screw, finished each one with a good tightening from a torque wrench. It was literally out of a horror movie. They then proceeded to screw the frame to the CT table. I was worried about this part to because the picture in my head of this moment was that they were going to take a power drill and tighten my frame to the table. Instead, they fit the frame to the table so that the holes on the back lined up with the ones and placed to screws in by hand. Once again, answer to prayer for me!! Then the medicine from the IV kicked in and my nurses had given me a lot since they knew how scared I was and it made me not able to focus or talk and it was horrible and scary. I tried five or six times to open and shut my eyes really hard in hope that they would refocus, finally I shut my eyes tight and prayed a prayer out of my deepest part of my heart and asked God to take it please allow me to see straight and not be afraid. One the count of three I opened my eyes and was able to see perfectly straight. I tried my best not to cry but it was such a wonderful moment! Once again I knew I was not alone, and the comfort a felt could not have been given by any human. My God was there with me and He wasn’t leaving me, ever.
After they finished the scan, I went back in the wheel chair and off to my room to wait 10 hours for them to plan out my radiation plan. I was thankfully able to sleep for most of the day and was just woken up a little before 12 so that I could eat before I wasn’t allowed to eat any longer. Having the head frame on was quite humorous for me really. Every time I would go to lay my head back, it would hit the bed so we had to devise a plan. I ended up putting my stuffed dinosaur from Linden, who has really been with me in EVERY surgery and scan, under my chin and placed a towel on my shoulder and was able to sleep comfortably. I would wake up and press my nurses call button for more Morphine and then go back to sleep. The nurses on that floor were great to and after the third time waking up the next time I called she just brought the morphine with her. It was funny. When I was awake one time, the lady beside me was told that she would be moving to the Hospice center nearby and that her family would be notified. My heart broke for her and I took that time to say a prayer for her and for God to be with her.
Finally the time came for my radiation. I was so excited. Dr. Mackenzie was able to explain how it all was going to work and the lab technicians that were there were once again WONDERFUL. They explained how many passes the machine was going to make over my head so I was able to count down how many were left. They came in after each pass and repositioned the table and made sure I was okay….umm..again… ANSWER TO PRAYER! They were amazing and made sure I didn’t need a break or anything.
When my radiation was over, they detached me from the table and helped me back into the wheel chair. They wheeled me into a room and Dr. Lee took my head frame off. It felt like my head was expanding, but it didn’t hurt. He talked to us about how it went and he said it went perfectly. I was wheeled back up to my head where I was free to go but I asked for one more bag of morphine and a T-3. After that my morphine was finished my nurse came and took my IV out. I got changed and we started out the door, I stopped and turned around and told my family to wait a second for me. I walked over to the lady on the other side of the curtain and thanked her for sharing her room and that I would remember to keep her in my prayers. She smiled and said thank you and I left. I hoped that I didn’t scare her but I couldn’t help but let her know that she wasn’t alone, that there is a God who cares.
On the drive home we stopped for bubble tea and all the emotions of it being done were indescribable.
So today I went to see my family doctor for my test results. He informed me that I have a 7cm cyst on my ovaries and that I need to go for another ultra sound in two months. If it hasn’t gone down they will possibly need to drain it. So please keep your prayers going for that.
Thank you all for all of your thoughts, prayers and encouraging words. God has really worked through this all and a million thanks would not be enough for your support. My journey is not done and I have a check up with Dr. Mackenzie at the end of August. I think at that point we will schedule my check up MRI for next year. Hopefully the AVM will has began to slowly die off and that it gets smaller. I will have to go for check up appointments annually for the next three years.
BEST PART OF THIS ALL:
I WOKE UP WITH NO HEADACHE AND FEELING NORMAL!!! That is the first time in 5 years for me to ever feel that way!! I don’t expect that to stick around but 1 day of 5 years is good enough for me!

Please pray for:
-         The lady who I shared my room with
-          -For my AVM to heal
-           For me to continue to feel well
-          -For my pin sites from the halo to heal quickly and not to get infected
-For Nikki, the wonderful lady at my church who suffered a terrible back and leg injury after an accident at work (please see my last post)




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