Long time, no post!

Hey Everyone,

Well I am sitting here and supposed to be studying for my mid-term and the site that I am supposed to use for studying is down so...why not blog?!

Let's start with school. So I finished and graduated with my ABT certificate and am now attempting to continue on. My hopes and dreams are to eventually achieve my masters in counseling. Right now I have to start with my social work diploma and work my way up from there. I have started with two classes (which is full time for me since I was deemed a student with a disability, WOOT!), and so far they are going well. I get frustrated often with my memory and learning since it takes me so much longer than it used too. I am happy to be able to attempt to continue schooling and I am excited to see where it goes!

Something that I am excited about is that I accepted a job as a casual clerical in the school district! It is awesome and I didn't really feel like I achieved much at first. Now that I know I have friends who still don't have jobs after completing school and that I have a job that pays well, I realize how blessed I am and that I did achieve my goal and that I am just moving on to the next goal that I have. But if anyone is hiring for clerical or a receptionist let me know ! I know a few really fantastic ones!

We all knew my blog post was going to come to this point, my health. So far I have been feeling pretty good. I have even started to work out at the gym with Brittany and be her trial client since she has received her training certificate. It feels awesome and it is so nice to know that the person putting my work outs together is one of the people who knows my condition the best. I am not sure if I posted it or not but my results from my last MRI was that my AVM was 1/3 healed and my doctor was really impressed. I was pretty happy about that. Now for my cysts, they have been causing me some issues. I went to a naturopath who was wonderful since the birth control that my gynecologist had put me on wasn't working. I was taking the vitamins that he told me to but I was still experiencing pain. My family doctor had sent me for an ultrasound for another pain I was experiencing in my stomach and tagged a pelvic exam onto it to see how my cysts were doing. Turns out they have not decreased in size and I will most likely have to get shots once a month to put my body into a temporary menopause state to try and shrink them. I am not to excited about more chemicals in my body and the side effects don't look fun, but I am happy to know they could get rid of my cysts.

So that is kind of where I am at right now. Whenever I walk into my doctors office now he just smiles at me and asks what the issue is now and says that I have more that I need for a lifetime. lol

I ask for prayer for:
- School to go well and that I have the strength to persist in it
- My cysts shrink and cause less pain
- For my friends still looking for jobs

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
Jeremiah 29:11-13

Update :)

Hi Everyone,

I know I haven't written on here for a while but I thought I would update you all on what is happening in my life right now.

Recently I graduated with my Applied Business Technology Certificate from UFV. I loved taking the program and God blessed me so much through it. I took this program to see how my retention would be as well as if my brain could handle the workload. To my surprise, I graduated with nothing lower than an A- and didn't even study! (Now I don't suggest that people go to university and not study, but I wanted to see how I could do). My plan is to now try and get my diploma and then a degree! I am not sure in what, but I feel like I am not done yet. With God's help and lots of hard work, I feel like I can achieve this goal.

I am not sure if I have written about the other curve ball that was thrown at me after the hospital, so bare with me if I repeat myself. Not too long after the hospital I had a terrible pain in my lower abdomen and I went to the hospital. It turns out that I have ovarian cysts, two actually, on my left ovary. They started out about 5cm in length. I have since gone back for another ultrasound and they are now 10cm in length but they have finally stop growing. I am very thankful for that! If they cause anymore problems or if in November when I get a check up and they have grown, then I will most likely have to get surgery to have them removed. But what is another surgery right?!

The big day is coming up pretty quick, August 14th is the day I go for my follow up MRI for my head. I have tons of different emotions running through me; excitement, fear, nervousness. The exciting part is that they have scheduled me for the MRI in the morning and by the afternoon I get to see my neurologist with my results! I am praying very hard that I will get the clear. Either way it will be an emotional day for my family.

I ask for prayer for:

-My cysts and that they will not cause me problems or pain
-That my MRI would show that my AVM is healed
-For others I know struggling with illness

Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. - Psalm 37:4

IMPORTANT!!

Hey Everyone,

You have all supported me so much with prayer and thoughts and now it is time for me to help someone in a small way. A couple nights ago, the boy across the street was in a terrible car accident and is now in ICU at where else but my other home, RCH. His name is Jordan and he is not too much younger than myself.

I am asking for prayer for the family and just to keep them in your thoughts and to spread the word. The link to HIS blog I will post below. His family tries to post updates regularly.

Thanks so much and Merry Christmas!!!

Kim


JORDAN'S BLOG:
jordanstam.blogspot.com

Update FINALLY!

Hey Everyone!

Sorry it has been so long since I posted, I have been crazy busy which I guess is a good thing. :)

Where do I start?

Well the summer was awesome. I loved my job and I was so thankful to have the opportunity to work. It definitely made me feel like I had a semi normal life again which was absolutely an amazing feeling.

Now onto my rehab. My radiologist, Dr. Mackenzie, set me up with an awesome centre that basically is for young adults who have had injuries. The centre has essentially everything that you need for rehab and he arranged for me to meet with people to be evaluated on how I am doing memory wise and how it is and has effected me. I was able to see a vocational counsellor, a physiotherapist, a social worker, and an occupational counsellor among others. It really helped me to see their reactions about how well I was doing and that I had come this far on my own, without any rehab. It was also a total eye opener. To see all of the young adults that were like me and had very similar physical handicaps that I had gone through made me just want to talk to each of them and tell them that there is a light at the end of this LONG dark tunnel that they feel like they are in right now. It was definitely a reality check Yes, things have been hard but I really have come a long way. I really can't thank you all enough for the prayers and thoughts, and I definitely can't forget the One who answered all of those prayers. He has brought me through it all and is continually giving me the strength to keep going and not settle for less then what I am striving for.
I am going back for follow up appointments and a neuropsych evaluation to see which parts of memory and things like that that I struggle with. From there they can narrow down the things that I need to work on. Also, I was never given a line as to where I could exercise and that always made me frustrated. I went from playing basketball and working out 6 days a week to only being allowed to walk for a short while and doing yoga. The people at GF Strong are going to contact my past doctors and evaluate where that line can now be drawn. It will still be vague but not as vague as it was to begin with and I am probably the most excited about that.

BUT I am totally excited to announce, for those of you that don't see me to often, that I AM IN SCHOOL RIGHT NOW!!!! That is a miracle in itself. I am in the Applied Business Technology program and loving it. I have even surprised myself with my grades. I have not gotten anything lower than an 88% on a test so far and I do all I can to remember who got me to where I am. 
I am striving to further my education as I continue rehab, but this program will guarantee that I can get a job starting in May 2013.

As for the rest of my life right now, I am blessed to be able to watch my friends and wonderful boyfriend do the thing I love the most, work out and play basketball at CBC. It definitely is hard to not be there and play ball but it is so nice to still have a connection. One day, hopefully in the near future with God's will, that will be me again; playing ball and working out. I have no doubt in my mind that God has big things planned for me and this definitely has happened for a reason. Just need to keep my head up and keep truckin. 

I hope I am able to one day inspire others with my story the way I have been inspired with SO many people.

Once again, I am so sorry that I haven't been able to update lately but I will do my best to keep you all posted! 

Thank you all so much for your continued support and prayers. I am truly blessed by you all and I am forever grateful to have you all apart of my journey. No, it's not over yet, but the best is yet to come. I know that and believe that with my whole heart.

Kim

Radiation !

Hey Everyone,

Sorry to make you wait for an update it has been quite crazy. So let’s start with Tuesday. I drove with my mom and dad out to the cancer clinic in Vancouver to have my consult with Dr. Mackenzie. He was WONDERFUL and not anything close to what I expected him to be. He talked to us for about 45 minutes to an hour and started out with asking me if I had any question so he was able to cover all of them when he was explaining the day of radiation to me. He was quite humorous and made sure I understood EVERYTHING that was going to happen that day. I told him of my anxiety of getting the head frame screwed on and so he asked me if I would like to see it. I of course thought maybe he would show me a picture after the consult, but in Dr. Mackenzie he said alright and left to go get it. I was able to see it and hold it and he once again explained EVERYTHING about it to me. I felt a lot better and without a doubt felt so blessed to have him as my doctor. I understand that doctors are really busy and have to see a lot of patients but he really made me feel like he cared and wanted the best for me. He asked me if I had received any type of counseling and if I had plans for the future for school and stuff. I told him that I would be going to school in September for the Applied Business Technology course but that I would love to go back to school to upgrade if my memory came back and become an X-ray tech or an ultra sound tech, but I wasn’t counting on that to happen. He told me that I could do anything and that he would even call the counselors of my university so set me up extra help. I was amazed. My radiation wasn’t the only part he was concerned about for me. He truly wanted me to be successful and that was honestly the most amazing feeling.

After I meet with him, a nurse took me around the unit and showed me where I would go on the day of my treatment so that everything was familiar and not as scary for me. She introduced me to some nurses and walked me through each room to let me know what would happen. Once again, that was a blessing !

So after all that was finished, we got some lunch and then took some time at Ikea before my MRI. It was nice to just process all the information he gave us and I even bought new furniture for my room which was awesome! (thanks mom and dad ;) ) We headed back to the cancer clinic and I got ready for my MRI. I was worried since all the MRI’s that I had had in the past were at least 45 minutes long and I am really cluster phobic (sorry if that spelling is wrong). The technician attached a mirror to the thing that holds my head in place and even had headphones that she played the radio through. Once again, an answer to prayer. ( you may find myself repeating that a lot !!) Besides that, all together my MRI took 20 minutes!!!

Okay so the next day I had an ultra sound for my ovaries because they had thought a couple months ago that I had an ovarian cyst. It was pretty painful but I was happy to get it over and done with. I will tell you the conclusion of it later.

So RADIATION DAY! We left my house at around 530am, as most of you know, I am NOT a morning person, BUT it was another answer to prayer because I eventually slept the whole drive in, instead of being awake and stressing the whole way there. Once we got there we knew exactly where to go since the nurse had shown us so there was no stress or confusion. I checked in and about 5 minutes was brought to the nurses’ station to get my IV out in. So here goes one of my favorite parts of the day…NEEDLES!!! WAHOO!! So she got my IV ready and the two nurses that were there were soooo nice and very funny. The first nurse was not able to get my IV started so instead of poking around, she pulled it out and told me she wasn’t going to poke me anymore since she knew that I was scared. She the second nurse tried and got it. I didn’t ask for the freezing back this one time and it happened to be the time that was the hardest. Plus, I asked if they could put it in my right hand thinking it was a good idea since I have lost a bit of feeling in it. But I didn’t think of the fact that my arm shakes and so my mom had to hold my arm still while she did my IV. Finally it was in and you could tell she felt horrible for having to poke me and dig around. It was a rough start but I was glad it was over and that my nurses were so kind. Once again…can anyone guess what I am going to say? It was an answer to prayer!! (even though it did hurt a bit…okay more than a bit) hah.

From there, they gave me pain medication I my IV and got me ready to go to get my head frame on. I was so scared but I knew God was with me. My parents called me really brave, but I think we all know I didn’t do that by myself. So Dr. Lee arrived and prepared to put on the head frame. They didn’t have to shave ANY of my hair, which for those of you that know me was a huge deal to me haha. The next part I will never forget and was the worst part of my day. As Dr. Lee prepared me for the headframe, he had to inject freezing into my head. Of course it was not normal needles, it was the kind that you see in horror movies. The needle part of it was a good three inches and the syringe was huge with the finger holes since it barely fit in his hand. He cleaned each of the areas and then proceeded with the injections. I have never felt a pain like that (well since I don’t have memory of when I hemorrhaged. I did everything I could to not cry and internalize my pain. I asked God for strength continually, and without Him I think, actually I KNOW that I wouldn’t have been able to make it through those moments. Once he put the needles in which was awful since I could hear it going through my scalp, he injected the freezing which was the most painful part. He had to move the needle around in my head to make sure he got the whole area. He had to do this for times. It made me think of what Jesus endured on the cross. These were just four needles in my head, it hurt for ten minutes, he suffered until His death! Just was a moment that I will never forget.

After the freezing was in, they fitted me for the head frame. They screwed in each screw, finished each one with a good tightening from a torque wrench. It was literally out of a horror movie. They then proceeded to screw the frame to the CT table. I was worried about this part to because the picture in my head of this moment was that they were going to take a power drill and tighten my frame to the table. Instead, they fit the frame to the table so that the holes on the back lined up with the ones and placed to screws in by hand. Once again, answer to prayer for me!! Then the medicine from the IV kicked in and my nurses had given me a lot since they knew how scared I was and it made me not able to focus or talk and it was horrible and scary. I tried five or six times to open and shut my eyes really hard in hope that they would refocus, finally I shut my eyes tight and prayed a prayer out of my deepest part of my heart and asked God to take it please allow me to see straight and not be afraid. One the count of three I opened my eyes and was able to see perfectly straight. I tried my best not to cry but it was such a wonderful moment! Once again I knew I was not alone, and the comfort a felt could not have been given by any human. My God was there with me and He wasn’t leaving me, ever.

After they finished the scan, I went back in the wheel chair and off to my room to wait 10 hours for them to plan out my radiation plan. I was thankfully able to sleep for most of the day and was just woken up a little before 12 so that I could eat before I wasn’t allowed to eat any longer. Having the head frame on was quite humorous for me really. Every time I would go to lay my head back, it would hit the bed so we had to devise a plan. I ended up putting my stuffed dinosaur from Linden, who has really been with me in EVERY surgery and scan, under my chin and placed a towel on my shoulder and was able to sleep comfortably. I would wake up and press my nurses call button for more Morphine and then go back to sleep. The nurses on that floor were great to and after the third time waking up the next time I called she just brought the morphine with her. It was funny. When I was awake one time, the lady beside me was told that she would be moving to the Hospice center nearby and that her family would be notified. My heart broke for her and I took that time to say a prayer for her and for God to be with her.

Finally the time came for my radiation. I was so excited. Dr. Mackenzie was able to explain how it all was going to work and the lab technicians that were there were once again WONDERFUL. They explained how many passes the machine was going to make over my head so I was able to count down how many were left. They came in after each pass and repositioned the table and made sure I was okay….umm..again… ANSWER TO PRAYER! They were amazing and made sure I didn’t need a break or anything.

When my radiation was over, they detached me from the table and helped me back into the wheel chair. They wheeled me into a room and Dr. Lee took my head frame off. It felt like my head was expanding, but it didn’t hurt. He talked to us about how it went and he said it went perfectly. I was wheeled back up to my head where I was free to go but I asked for one more bag of morphine and a T-3. After that my morphine was finished my nurse came and took my IV out. I got changed and we started out the door, I stopped and turned around and told my family to wait a second for me. I walked over to the lady on the other side of the curtain and thanked her for sharing her room and that I would remember to keep her in my prayers. She smiled and said thank you and I left. I hoped that I didn’t scare her but I couldn’t help but let her know that she wasn’t alone, that there is a God who cares.

On the drive home we stopped for bubble tea and all the emotions of it being done were indescribable.

So today I went to see my family doctor for my test results. He informed me that I have a 7cm cyst on my ovaries and that I need to go for another ultra sound in two months. If it hasn’t gone down they will possibly need to drain it. So please keep your prayers going for that.

Thank you all for all of your thoughts, prayers and encouraging words. God has really worked through this all and a million thanks would not be enough for your support. My journey is not done and I have a check up with Dr. Mackenzie at the end of August. I think at that point we will schedule my check up MRI for next year. Hopefully the AVM will has began to slowly die off and that it gets smaller. I will have to go for check up appointments annually for the next three years.

BEST PART OF THIS ALL:

I WOKE UP WITH NO HEADACHE AND FEELING NORMAL!!! That is the first time in 5 years for me to ever feel that way!! I don’t expect that to stick around but 1 day of 5 years is good enough for me!

Please pray for:

-         The lady who I shared my room with

-          -For my AVM to heal

-           For me to continue to feel well

-          -For my pin sites from the halo to heal quickly and not to get infected

-For Nikki, the wonderful lady at my church who suffered a terrible back and leg injury after an accident at work (please see my last post)

-          

Mixed Emotions

Hey Everyone,


I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while, I have been busy working and don't want to post unimportant stuff on here.
So basically yesterday was full of mixed emotions for me. My mom told me Dr. Lee's office finally phone, and that has been what I have been waiting for, for a long time. She then told me that I have a consultation and an MRI on July 3rd, and that radiation will need to be done unless that last MRI shows different. If not my radiation is scheduled for July 5th.
So automatically I feel this weird emotion of joy and fear. Joy in the thought that what I have been waiting for has finally come and I finally get to take the last step to my recovery. But fear in the idea of them putting the head frame on and all of the 'what if's' of it all. 
It is so crazy to me that I saw this for all it is before, which is a blessing in disguise. But I can't help but feel angry, angry that God didn't heal me after all I have been through, angry that this couldn't have been the huge miracle I have hoped and prayed for.
Like I said in one of my early blog posts, I'm not going to hide my feelings, I'm not going to pretend that I am a perfect Christian or that everything is all rainbows and butterflies. Things get tough and hard and it is not always easy to trust God has a plan, as many of you probably know.
I AM grateful that the help I need now is close by as I am almost 100% sure it is the only radiation machine in BC, and that I live in Canada so I have insurance, don't get me wrong. I am positive that God has a plan, I just really wish he would fill me in on ALL the details. 
I thank the Lord that I am alive and for this journey so far, but like I have said, this is definitely not easy, even though it just one treatment, and then I am on to recovery. Sounds easy enough right, but for some reason I have yet to feel like this is easy. 


Please continue to pray, and all of your positive thoughts are greatly appreciated. To this day, the scripture I try to cling to is Psalm 73:28 "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is my strength and my portion forever"


I ask for prayer for:
-My fears to be calmed and that I will feel peace
-For strength and to know God is in control
-For Nikki Hand (a wonderful lady from my church who is in hospital after a platform fell on her and crushed some of her spine) 


Here is a posting from a family member:

"Dear Friends: At 10:30 am Monday morning a steel platform that Nikki was working under collapsed on her, smashing her L5 vertabrea in her back. She has ALL mobility and is in stable condition. Right now she is waiting for a transfer to Royal Columbian for surgery to stabilize the fracture. We have no idea when she will be transferred. I know that Nikki and her family are very loved by alot of people, but if you could please NOT text\call Nikki, Lance or the girls. They need this time right now together as a family. 

If you feel that you must visit, PLEASE keep it short. 
I will update everyone with any new info as I recieve it. Please don't hesitate to message or call me if you need info my cell            604-703-6580      .
♥ Gayle."

This is going to be short and sweet =) 


I thought that since was one year since I was rushed to the hospital, I should probably post some thing. The  day after my last post a received a job. Better yet, one I DIDN'T EVEN APPLY FOR !!! God is good all the time !! 


But this post goes out to all my blog readers and prayer warriors. 


Thank you for all your support this past year. Your messages, thoughts, prayers and hugs have really kept me going. I appreciate all of you, even the ones I have yet to meet and pray that God blesses you in your journey in life. 


The biggest thanks goes out to my mom and dad and sisters. Thanks so much for being there through it all. The nights that were so tough for you to see, the funny times, and even some strange times. Thank you for sticking by me and always encouraging me.



Love,


Kim 


"Thank God in everything no matter what the circumstances may be, be thankful and give thanks, for this is the will of God."
1 Thessalonians 5:18