Sorry it has been so long since I last wrote on here. Lately, things are hard with lots of headaches and stuff lately. What's new though, things could be a lot worse. I had to write a paper for a class I'm taking called Effective Relationships and my paper ended up being 11 pages. To this point, the only times I have really written about the hospital is on here and this gave me another chance to write about my experience. The paper was on two spiritual disciplines that I chose to work on for 6-8 weeks and I didn't know what I had gotten myself into by choosing the disciplines of worship and peacemaking.
It is crazy to me how these disciplines connected to my times in the hospital but here is one paragraph that I wrote:
"I had a few of these moments of sickness seeing as I am dealing with some after effects as well as current issues from my brain hemorrhage. I know that we weren’t really supposed to talk from our past experiences but I couldn’t help it. Thinking of all the moments in the hospital when they were slicing part of your skin open by your collarbone to insert a tube while you’re awake are not some of your favorite moments but in it God works. When I had to get that small surgery for them to insert that tube I was terrified and let me tell you, it was one of my weak moments and I was definitely not worshiping God in the sense that I was not thanking him for giving me a second chance at life. I was horrified and especially all of the needles that had to go in to freeze the area for her to cut was not a very nice moment, and even thinking of it now still makes me cringe. Although, God worked in this moment, as I should of known without a doubt he would.
First off, he blessed me with a female surgeon who never works at the hospital I’m at but just so happened to get called in to work there for the day which made it more comfortable to have someone of the same gender doing the procedure. Not only that, I found out through conversation that she was a Christian and even knew people that went to Columbia Bible College and visited before. To top that all off, he blessed me with and amazing nurse who took time to hold my hand the whole time and let me squeeze it whenever I felt I needed to. She had also heard about Columbia since her friends went here before and both the nurse and the surgeon were former athletes and we could talk about basketball to calm me down. In the end, it turned into more of a social event then anything and I was so blessed to have them there. I did all I could to not cry with joy and thankfulness, and some tears may have slipped out. Once they transferred me to my room there was not holding back, I laid there in my bed unable to move my right side from the original hemorrhage and just began pray in thankfulness for God’s unending faithfulness. In moments of weakness it is not always that easy to praise God, but through those times God works, and works in only ways He can. Once again, GOD IS GOOD! In moments when we recognized some of the MANY astounding things God did in the hospital and after, my Mom and I have a saying that we say all the time and it will start with one of us saying “God is good all the time” and the other replies with “and all the time, God is good”. Now isn’t that so true!"
I just thought it was cool being able to look back at my time there and how it shaped me.
So yeah, things have been rough but that was really part of my healing and it was an awesome feeling to be able to look at all the cool God moments that my family and I had during a hard time.
Something as a side note that is so exciting is that my niece (picture above) is turning one tomorrow!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEAUTIFUL MADISON!
I ask for prayer for:
- My constant headaches
- For me to follow God's plans for me for next semester and my future and for me to trust him fully
- For some of my friends who are struggling with illness and hard times.
- For answers about when my radiation will be
